


pourquoi c’est comme ça

by melancholygay



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, introspection if you blink, pre 12/17 liveshow, uhh haitus, warm n happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 05:25:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17074247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholygay/pseuds/melancholygay
Summary: dnp deserve the break and i would still die for them w no hesitation but,,, i’m allowing myself a good week to be sad about it





	pourquoi c’est comme ça

**Author's Note:**

> dnp deserve the break and i would still die for them w no hesitation but,,, i’m allowing myself a good week to be sad about it

dan knew something was off. something had obviously shifted, almost as if the stars seemed to re-align themselves. he wanted to call for phil, but the better side of his head told him even if phil was here, how could he explain it to him. besides, just knowing he could call to phil if he wanted was comfort enough to dan. he tried to stop thinking, to focus on the soft music, or the way his favorite office chair seemed to mold to his body. it should anyways, since they’ve used it for so long. they’ve used it for just about 4 years. the words seemed to bounce around in his brain. 4 years, such a long and rich time. 

basically half a decade. he played with that phrase in his head too, yet he could pinpoint what it made him feel. all he knew, was that he had the gaming channel with him and phil. phil, the only thing he knew to be constant. he almost couldn’t believe it had been 4 years, but thinning back to the two tours and two books, it definitely could. 

the gaming channel was an obvious comfort for him and phil alike. something they could be just a little too cheeky on, something they were in absolute control of. but were they ? he toyed with the idea, was he in total control of his channel, his content, his fans? obviously not his fans. they are people. ones with free will and an individual set of morals. yet he just couldn’t seemed to please every one of them. 

the thought was almost always seared into his mind. how could he make everyone happy? he knew it was virtually impossible, yet that never stopped him from contemplating it for hours.  
-  
the idea popped in, just briefly, but it seemed to make waves in his muddled mind. taking a break, however small or big he needed it to be , just pausing til he felt the spark of creativity, and the understanding that you can’t please all 3 million people, return soundly. he pushed himself up out of the chair , his body heavy with that all too specific haze of deep thought, and he padded out of the gaming room. 

he let his feet carry him all the way to the moon room. he slightly cracked the door, trying his absolute hardest not to wake his sleeping boyfriend. he made it past the door way just as phil began to stir, and sat up, staring in the dark, face only illuminated by the slightest tint of moonlight. it made dans heart swell. he walked over to phil, sliding under the covers and slotting perfectly into phil’s big, warm embrace. he just let his head rest on phil’s chest, feeling him breathe, while phil traces gentle circles at the nape of his neck. 

“you know i know you too well to pretend like something isn’t wrong , love” phil said. it was deep, almost sultry, and dan relished in the fact that he was the only one that got to hear phil’s slightly hushed, night voice. 

dan thought, what could he say to phil? how could he possibly explain it. “i want to take a break” he finally muttered. and though his words were muffled by phil’s chest, he seemed to understand just fine. “i need a little more to go on, you know” phil said, his slight chuckle making dans head bounce. “gaming channel” he spluttered, before realizing his words made practically no sense. “i want to take a break from posting gaming channel videos” he automatically braced, though he didn’t know why. was he expecting a bad response ? maybe for phil to yell at him? but instead, phil just pulled him close, wrapping him in warmth “i hate to admit that that does sound nice” phil hummed back “though you know you’re going to have to explain this to me in the morning, when we’re both a little more coherent” 

dan smiled, real and genuine, because of course phil agreed. his phil, his soft and warm phil, the one who he’s been entirely devoted to since 2009. and the funny thing is, it was entirely reciprocated.


End file.
